7 Phrases That Send Your Readers Running
Think your blog has too many ranting readers? Do you have a plethora of pesky visitors sending you beer money? Try these laser-guided phrases that will send anyone away from your blog faster than you can type “press Ctrl+D to bookmark meâ€:
1. “This post was guest-blogged by….â€
Imagine being in prison and hearing that Paris Hilton is going to get her introductory slapdown at 5pm in the showers but when you arrive there to cheer you find out she’s already bought her way out of prison! That’s the feeling of disappointment that I get when go to a blog and find the owner’s away and it’s being guest-blogged!
It’s your blog and your visitors go there to hear your voice - don’t disappoint them!
2. “I haven’t formed my opinion on this yetâ€
So why are you writing about it Mr Fencesitter???
Blogs aren’t known for their reliable facts, but they are read by people who are interested in the opinions of others. If you don’t have an opinion, then what’s the point of your post?
Your blog isn’t an academic journal that others will reference in their college thesis. Why not wait a week and then write your opinion about it? A blog without an opinion is like a blogspot blog with PageRank – worthless.
3. “Everyone else is writing about it, so I thought I’d throw in my two centsâ€
If everyone else is writing about it, you’d better have something original to say or you might as well redirect your entire site to those who do.
Not only are you telling your readers that you’re not creative enough to make your own content, you’re telling them that there are other sites who break the news before you. Watch your readers leave your site and go subscribe elsewhere!
4. “I recommend you buy this e-bookâ€
Is this 1997? Do you know how easy it is for your readers to download a pirate copy of any e-book they want via BitTorrent? Selling e-books is dead. All the cool kids know this and are giving away free e-books to drive visitors to the quality information on their sites.
5. “Can someone please digg this post?â€
You’re not smart enough to create an account under a different name and digg it yourself?
Sure let me just leave your site and go over to Digg…logging in….clicking the submit button….what was your URL again?….doesn’t matter, I’ve found these cool Tetris-shaped ice cubes to digg instead!
6. “I’m going on vacation and won’t be updating this site for a couple of daysâ€
Why are you telling your readers not to visit your site?
At the very least, just let your blog sit and your readers will keep coming back to see if you’ve updated yet. They may even subscribe to your feed so they know exactly when you’ve updated.
If a reader knows you’re not updating the only reason to visit your blog is to laugh at how much your Alexa graph slides down!
7. “I’m not going to write on this topic again because I don’t want to give them any more publicityâ€
So there’s still areas of the topic that haven’t been explored, but you’re not going to do it?
Ok. I’ll write about it and leave a link to my site in your comments section. Watch your readers click over to my site…thank you very much!
Rich people subscribe to Cash Quests
Ha! I’d love to see Paris get slapped down like that.
by SEO One
LOL I like this post, its funny yet totally has a point. BTW, I took the advice from the previous post and finally got the nofollow removed.
by Steven
Original and to the point as always. Great job Kumiko.
by Business Card Guru
“blogspot blog with PageRank – worthless.”
???
by blogspot blog
That was pretty good, I got a good chuckle out of a number of those. The Tetris shaped ice cubes were spot on.
by crazy4bass
That’s true, but you still shouldn’t call blogspot blogs “worthless”.. The term “handicapped” would be more suitable.
Alex
by blogspot blog
Kumiko, that’s quite a big e-book bashing… how much traffic/loyal readers do you think a blog needs for it to be worthwhile giving away a free e-book?
i.e. You can’t exactly set up an affiliate program where you offer 50% commision to people who sell it for you when it’s free! How would it get promoted other than a blog post? (and the usual forum posts, article marketing (just like promoting any other post).
by Matt Jones
So this is how NOT to get readers. =)
by A Tentative Personal Finance Blog
I loved this post. Very direct, very oppinionated. You just forgot one phrase:
8: “…so they ordered up a ReviewMe…”
Oh, so you’re going to talk about something that isn’t interesting enough for you to post about unless you’re getting paid for it? No prob, time for me to use my handy ‘j’ key in Google Reader
heh heh heh, nothing personal, I really do like your blog.
by Papa Rage
Guess someone is really pissed…
To John Chow,
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”
I remain Anon fearing…
by S-Anon-S
Kumiko,
Great and informative post. I admit I’ve done a couple of these…
by Tay
I’m actually going on a trip next week and was planning to write an excuse me post. After reading this, I think I’ll just schedule some posts with the Wordpress Timestamp and act like nothing happened
Great article.
by Ronaldo Camacho
I love the “Everyone else is blogging about it…” one. That is so bad. Even if it is true, don’t apologize about it! Just have something decent to say.
If you are going to blog, be out there and be original. After all that’s what you’re blogging for isn’t it? It’s not just to make money, right?
by Jonathan Franzone
I agree with your 7 headlines.
by esofthub
I don’t agree with your first suggestion.. sometimes a guest post on my blog brings in more reader discussion than my own!
by Affordable Graphic Design
I don’t think having guest bloggers on your site is bad, as long as the amount of posts they do is overwhelming. For someone like me who posts anywhere between 1 and 5 times per day, the guest bloggers posts mingle nicely. And if you go on vacation, it’s better to have some content than none at all.
by Bob
Just on the strength of this post, I added your blog to my feed list.
YOU ARE TRULY MIGHTY.
Seriously, great post, I loved it.
Oh yes…please let me know if you would like a free review of your site or anything else at ReviewYou.net
by Anonymous
This comment is Guest posted by Guest Commentator wotZcool
Please enjoy!!
Yeah, looking at this comment, I think she’s right. It can be sad when you visit somewhere and someone else is writting.
Although, John Chow’s blog looks far better with Jane May writing.
by Steve
I just did the vacation thing.
I had planned to post while gone, but bad and no internet prevented me.
Anyone want to buy an ebook of my vacation pics?
by James
Haha, well said Kumiko. That was rather evil of you too
by Shypy
Nice “Hate” entry. Usually hate entries are common sense, but it gains a lot of attention
by Andy Dang
Very cleverly put! I agree with what you said especially against this one: “I’m going on vacation and won’t be updating this site for a couple of days†— Duh. They really should stop informing their bloggers not to come back until they’re back online. lol
by Joni
¡Excellent post! I’ll translate into spanish some day. Es cierto eso de que los lectores huyen de blogs con esas caracterÃsticas.
by Ganar Dinero
Good ones! I don´t agree with the guest blogger one though. For me, if the guest blogger is someone who can offer a really high quality, informative article, then I have no problem reading them. The issue is when you have a regular blogger with nothing much to say writing the guest post.
by Genesis
[…] <View This Article At Cash Quest “Lets Enjoy Four Figure Blogging” […]
by 7 Phrases That Send Your Readers Running
[…] suzuki presents 7 Phrases That Send Your Readers Running posted at Make Money Online at Kumiko’s Cash […]
by Carnival of Entrepreneurs #25 - June 11, 2007
[…] suzuki presents 7 Phrases That Send Your Readers Running posted at Make Money Online at Kumiko’s Cash […]
by make money blogging 101 - June 18, 2007 « Blog Carnival Make Money Blogging 101
[…] suzuki presents 7 Phrases That Send Your Readers Running posted at Make Money Online at Kumiko’s Cash […]
by Footprints on the Moon » Postie Carnival - Fathers - June 18, 2007
[…] suzuki presents 7 Phrases That Send Your Readers Running posted at Make Money Online at Kumiko’s Cash […]
by Make money blogging 101 Blog Carnival » make money blogging 101 - June 18, 2007
For me, this is a funny post but it certainly makes sense.
On the I’m going on a vacation input, I guess the best will be telling your readers that you will be off but contents have been prepared on a timestamp method so feel free to check back.
This way, they will be back for the contents and at the same time, they will not get mad with you if you don’t reply to their comments or mails.
by Wayne Liew
cool article…. never really seen it from that angle
by simon